Journal Entry: Fri Aug 16, 2013, 12:25 AM
I remember the first day I created a DA account. I despised myself for copying others artwork. I never made a profit or bragged, but I still felt... frustrated. I couldn't make an original piece and it bothered me more than it should have. I essentially put a paper over the drawing and copied it. I fooled myself in saying it's "practice". No. I was merely trying to fool myself by inflating my ego through empty drawings. I... then put the pen down... and looked at space screenshots... and my old hobby of scribbling graffiti everywhere.
I'm still doing both. I will still post EVE. However, things have changed since day 1. I have created several street arts. I have achieved my goal. I have created something that is MINE. The Clarion Alley piece, the people passing by loved it when i finished it. I felt... happy. It was the sense of satisfaction I felt when people looked at my old blue rabbit. It was Intoxicating. I'm still a "toy" but I will still continue. I believe I have found my calling.
I also have found someone, in which I have concluded recently after 3 months of daily skype, I love very dearly. She's very special to me. I never really felt this way in my life. I'm love struck. She is literally the best thing that has happened in my miserable existence. I met her in college. It took awhile for us to realize we both were interested in each other. I took a leap of faith, which have turned out to be the best decision I have made in college. We were together for 4 months... then summer break started and we had to part. The 3 months is hell. The only thing that makes me sane is seeing her face on skype.... She makes my gloomy life bright. I have changed.
Listening to: my head
Reading: Space Politics